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Archive for November, 2012

Super-girls

Recently, it was spirit-week at my daughter’s school. This day, was Super-hero day. She wanted to be Bat Girl. So we dressed her up in black leggings and a black shirt, her favorite boots, and she found a dress up skirt that we converted into a cape. She was happy.

I, however, suddenly, unexpectedly, was not happy. I felt sad. Something about the morning triggered recent memories about her first day of Pre-K. I began to remember how I had taken a long walk home after dropping her off.  It had begun to be a lonely walk.

While at first, I briskly walked along the sidewalk alone, I gradually began to realize what I had just done. I am not one to proclaim my sentimentalities; I scoff at those tear jerker movies and avoid them at all cost. “What a waste of my time!” I am typically thinking.

But now, all those guards in my heart I had put up to minimize my mommy-ish emotions and to protect my steadfast reputation were down. I was alone.

No jogging stroller in front me. No little hand reaching up to hand me an empty snack baggie. No little face looking up and back just to smile at me. No little fingers to point out rabbits hopping and leaves blowing across the lawns. No little voice to say, “Mommy, look!” For the most part, I realized…those “stroller days” were over.

I wondered how I was to handle this season of change I was in. I knew it was necessary, I knew it was good, and I knew it was blessed. But it was also new, it was different, and it was unexpectedly hard on my heart. I prayed and I cried and I wiped those tears from my eyes quickly as I walked past the retired men and women, out for morning walks themselves. I didn’t want anyone to know.

However, my Father knew. And in that moment He gave me the grace to remember Him and be vulnerable before Him. As tears blurred my vision He brought to my mind His blessed promise:

For I the LORD do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed.

What a blessed thing to remember! What a blessing that He seeks my tears out in order to dry them with His love! He longs to use my tears, to keep Himself as the focus of my heart and my mind.

I for one, don’t want to waste my tears.

I went on. I began to notice sounds I didn’t normally pay attention to on my walks in recent years. Cars driving by, radios playing, someone raking leaves, crickets chirping. Sounds of life. Evidence that yes, indeed, my God does not change.

Those stroller days with my daughter, those days of walking and running those old streets together, they were lovely.  They were a good life. A beautiful life. A fruitful life. But, now, God has even more fruit for me in life, and even more fruit for her life. Now we walk new streets together, us two Super-girls, as we each grow in the knowledge of His love for us, as we learn to be more than conquerors in Christ through all the streets of life God leads us to run down. Oh, may we both learn to not waste our lives! May we both learn how our Lord God does not change, day to day, moment to moment! May we both run with our Super-girl capes soaring behind us, flashing our weapons and shields of the Word before us, and bearing much more fruit for His Glory! He is our Super-hero who never fails to rescue us in our tears. May we grow to be and look just like Him.

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